This post was originally called ‘closing one door, opening another’ but after being a few paragraphs in, I get an email from my agent saying I’ve been pencilled for a job *moves post to drafts*. Fast forward a month, new thoughts, new feelings; new post!
To give you a bit of background, my side dream.
Since I can remember I’ve always wanted to be an actress. But as you can imagine, it’s an industry that pumps your veins with insecurity and rejection. That smothers you in negativity and doubt.
The lows are low but the highs make it all worth it. And luckily, I’ve had some incredible highs from projects that I’m really, really proud of. However, the instability of it all means I’ve literally spent the past ten years yo-yoing my way through my life; trying to secure acting jobs, attend college/uni (backup plan), live life and pay the bills. It screws with you!
Luckily, YOGA HAPPENED.
And the more yoga happened, the less acting happened. The more I started to get back to me the more I started to realize that the thing that I had always dreamed of doing was no longer making me happy.
It’s a scary accepting that what you think you were meant to do, isn’t doing it for you. I thought so many times about closing that door. And then about the all the reasons why I kept hanging on. But let me tell you, wanting something from a place of pride or to boost your ego won’t serve you well. You have to let go of all that crap. Make it a priority to find out your WHY and then put your energy into it.
Tony Robbins said it right; WHERE FOCUS GOES, ENERGY FLOWS. :: mic drop:: I used to have the attitude that I can be anything I want to be, even if that meant being a super successful TV star in a US series whilst teaching yoga all over the world, r-e-a-l-l-y?
Like c’mon. OBSESSED with blogging? That 9 to 5 may slack. Outdoors your RIDE OR DIE passion? Your deskbound work will most likely struggle. Fixated on making £$£? Working all hours? Don’t be surprised if you don’t see your family and friends as much.
The thing is, you can have anything you want in life, but you just can’t have everything you want.
From MY experience (everyone is different obviously) anything that has ever “happened” to me, hasn’t really just “happened”. Because things usually do not just happen, you cultivate them. You water them. You grow them. YOU PUT ALL YOUR ENERGY INTO THEM. Acting role? Blood, sweat and tears worked for it. University Degree? Up-all-night worked for it. All of my focus right now revolves around teaching yoga or practicing yoga, can you guess what’s flourishing?
Bottom line: the grass will grow where YOU water it. You’re in charge. SOUR! PROSPER! OWN IT!
And for the record, water the spots that make you happy *sprinkles plant food too*
Your turn: Thoughts? Where’s your focus right now? Cultivating the wrong things? Do you think you can have everything you want?
Let me know.